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Watching football together could be the best thing for your relationship, according to a new survey.The study by Indesit found 64 per cent of men in the UK would spend more time with their girlfriends if they knew more about football.
Women agree too, over one in three believe that having a good knowledge of the game would lead to them spending more quality time with their partner. When asked directly, one in four men said that their girlfriend knowing more about football would result in fewer arguments.
Half of all women polled suggested they “would like to know more about football” yet only 17 per cent could boast a decent understanding. The same number of women admitted that this lack of understanding excludes them from conversations whilst 62 per cent of men indicated they would invite their partners to more social occasions if they enjoyed football.
Enjoying football also helps when it comes to housework. Half of all males polled stated that they would be more willing to help with household chores, such as the laundry, if their partners nagged less about them watching football.
When it comes to knowing the score men and women are clear on what knowledge is essential, both agree that the names of key players and the offside rule are the first things that should be learned before watching a match.
Piero Pracchi, Indesit Brand Director commented: “It was almost a given that the majority of UK men enjoy football but it’s great to see how strong women’s’ interest in the game is. It’s also interesting that, rather than being the cause of arguments, football can be the route to a great relationship.”
-With femalefirst.co.uk input
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For happy couples, few things in life come close to the feeling of being in love and being loved in return; it’s like living in a magical fantasy land where all is bright and beautiful. But many of us suffer a very rude awakening, later on, when our ideals are not being realised and our initial perceptions turn out to be false: it transpires that the object of our devotion is not the partner we’d expected him or her to become.Being a relationship counsellor, I have observed many relationships unwind because the two parties can’t handle the disappointment of seeing great expectations not being fulfilled.
Having some expectations is normal and healthy, though nowadays people _ especially members of the younger generation _ tend to have too many expectations. This may reflect the unrealistic, idealised version of romantic love often portrayed in popular contemporary novels and TV dramas. Here, in the real world, unmet expectations have always been an abundant source of conflict and unhappiness in relationships and a leading cause of break-ups.
DIFFERENT PEOPLE, DIFFERENT THINKING
Men and women have many traits in common, but don’t expect them to think alike. It’s not realistic to expect your spouse to know everything that you’re feeling. Arguments between men and women often go unresolved, with one partner storming off in a huff shouting, “You don’t understand me at all!” My advice to couples is that each partner should make a concerted effort to better understand the other; after all, if you try to understand your partner, your partner is more likely to respond positively by trying to understand you better, too.
EXPECT YOUR PARTNER TO BE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE’S
“The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill” is a famous expression filled with irony. It is human nature to assume that the things other people have are somehow better that what we have _ and that includes partners. This can lead to a mindset of “why can’t my partner by like his (or hers)?” which can be symptomatic of a relationship in peril. Since we’re talking about expectations, couples are well advised to expect that the grass is no more or less green than on the other side of that proverbial hill. In times of frustration, you may want to tell your partner, “I wish I had a spouse like so-and-so.” But imagine how painful it would be for your partner to hear that. Regardless of what is causing the problems in your relationship, remarks like that only make things worse. So do your relationship a favour and keep thoughts like that to yourself!
QUALITY TIME
Many newlyweds enter marriage expecting to have lots of time to spend with their spouses, but work and other demands on your time too often win out. It’s also becoming more common to meet couples who work in separate cities and live together only on the weekends.
Relationships can survive _ and even thrive _ despite these pressures on one’s time. The quality of the time you spend together matters more than the quantity. Be sure to treasure the time you spend with each other; do things together that are meaningful instead of entertaining thoughts that your spouse doesn’t care enough about you.
SHOULD PARTNERS SHARE EVERYTHING?
The question of whether to share everything is usually about sharing money. It’s hardly rare for one partner to experience financial troubles that require help from the other. It shouldn’t place too heavy a strain on the relationship if it’s only a one-off or occasional occurrence. But financial problems can fester and grow to the point of sabotaging relationships. One practice that tends to help is for partners to retain for their own personal use any money they earn doing extra work.
EMERGING FROM HIDDEN PLACES
Once a couple has spent a period of time living together, they begin to notice instances of their partner doing something surprising or unexpected; it might be as simple as a gesture or habitual movement they hadn’t noticed before. These new things result from their having reached a higher comfort level with each other, so there’s less need to hide things. Unless you notice your partner doing something awful or disturbing, the best response is to accept the change and cope with it. And remind yourself, every now and then, that there’s no such thing as a perfect person _ you and your partner included.
In one sense, an expectation is a tool for forcing one’s own way of thinking onto someone else. Sure, you may succeed in getting your partner to eventually change into someone closer to what you want; but the consequence of clinging to this expectation is that, rather than loving your partner for the person he or she is, you are actually loving an unreal, idealised image _ something created by your own imagination _ of the partner you wish you had.
When two people endure the countless obstacles and unwelcome surprises that life throws at them, yet are still able to hang onto a shared desire to be with each other in spite of it all… that’s the kind of love I’m talking about.
Writer Dr Pansak Sugkraroek is a reproductive endocrinologist at Bumrungrad Hospital.
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It is an oft-repeated stereotype that while men want to have sex women prefer an affectionate cuddle. But a study has found that in long term relationships, hugging and kissing are more important to the happiness of men than women.
The research, by sociologists at the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University, is the first international study of sexual behaviour and debunks many a popular bedroom theory.
Experts found that the longer women have been with their partner the more they enjoy sex while men place the most importance on their other half’s sexual satisfaction.
More than 1,000 couples in five countries, the US, Germany, Spain, Brazil and Japan, took part in the survey, all of whom were aged between 40 and 70 and had been in a relationship for an average of 25 years.
Both sexes said that they were happier and enjoyed a better sex life the longer they were together. But it was women who were more likely to report being sexually satisfied while more men said they were happy with their relationship.
Men who said kissing and cuddling were a regular part of their relationship were on average three times happier than those who did not.
Women, who are almost always portrayed as the more tactile sex, said that kissing and cuddling had little bearing on their happiness.
Julia Heiman, the report’s author, said that women’s sexual satisfaction may increase with age because as they grow older they have fewer pressures
“It’s possible that women became more satisfied over time because their expectations change, or life changes when their children grow up,” she said.
“We know from other research that being in a long-term relationship has some value to health. Now we can learn more about what really makes relationships both sustainable and happy.”
-With theglobeandmail.com input
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Spending the night in front of the television and watching a film with the other half could be more damaging to your relationship than you could possibly think.New research confirms what most of us already knew, that men and women don’t like watching the same films.
Women are far more interested in a happy ending and men are twice as likely to want a sex scene in the film, as proven by a study of 2,000 adults, commissioned by insurer Direct Line.
TV psychologist Professor Geoffrey Beattie, who anaylsed the results, says: “This research shows that the perfect film needs to engage the mind – particularly with a plot twist – as well as the emotions.
“Films are important to people because they provide a narrative and a meaning to experiences, either similar to our own or very different to our own, and we often draw upon these narrative structures when we explain aspects of our own lives.
“Films take us on an emotional journey and allow us to feel a range of different emotions both positive and negative in a safe environment and when we have finished watching a film we often feel a degree of psychological satisfaction.”
The study found that both sexes agreed (for once) that a cunning plot twist was an integral part of any movie.
More than half of men feel an action sequence is essential to their perfect film, compared to women who prefer a happy ending to explosions and violence.
Matt Owen, spokesperson for insurance firm Drect Line says: “Our research shows that people are very clear about what they like – and especially what they don’t like – in films, with overly-complicated, lengthy movies being the worst offenders.
“In terms of what makes a perfect film, the most recent Star Trek movie may be the closest modern movie to fit the bill and may well have bodly gone where no film has gone before.
Direct Line has teamed up with Raindance, the UK’s largest independent film organisation, to launch 40 Seconds Straign, a film competition to find new UK film-making talent.
Courtesy of femalefirst.co.uk
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Even the best relationships can grow stale. If you and your mate have fallen into a rut, don’t fret – help is on its way. We spoke to Dr. Michal Regev, a Vancouver-based psychologist and marriage therapist, to get her top 10 tips for perking up your relationship.1. Prioritize your relationship
List the top three priorities in your life. If your relationship isn’t on the list, you need to scratch something else off and put it on there – before it’s too late. “Research shows neglecting your relationship may lead to dissatisfaction, alienation and even separation,” says Dr. Regev.
Don’t use being busy as an excuse to let your love life languish. Do what it takes – turn off the TV, hire a sitter, leave work at a reasonable hour – to spend time with your partner.
2. Take care of yourself
“If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll have little energy for your partner – or the relationship,” says Dr. Regev. Eat well to maintain your health. Work out so you feel your best. Spend time with your friends so you feel happy and connected to your social network. All these things create positive energy you’ll bring home to your lover.
3. Accentuate the positive
Make sure negative interactions with your significant other are outnumbered by positive ones, says Dr. Regev, citing relationship research from the University of Washington’s Dr. John Gottman.
“Dr. Gottman found stable and happy couples were characterized by having at least a 5:1 positive-to-negative-interaction ratio,” says Dr. Regev. For every one criticism or complaint, there were at least five compliments, words of appreciation or statements of affection.
4. Learn how to dial it down a few notches
You know those tense situations when you know you’re on the edge of a blowout? Try de-escalation. “Each partner should learn how to take turns de-escalating through humour, taking responsibility for actions, clarifying and apologizing,” says Dr. Regev.
Humour’s also a great strategy – but only if it’s self-deprecating, not at your better half’s expense.
5. Flatter
Who doesn’t like to be reminded how much they’re loved? Tell your lover what you appreciate about them on a regular basis. It will boost their self-esteem and remind you how lucky you are.
“It’s a great aphrodisiac,” adds Dr. Regev.
The caveat: Be honest. “Don”t overdo it or your partner might be put off” says Dr. Regev.
6. Have fun!
If your idea of “couples time” is spring-cleaning or budgeting, think again. Relationship-boosting quality time should be enjoyable and allows you to connect emotionally. Lovemaking counts. So does playing paintball or volunteering at the animal shelter to groom kittens or walk dogs together.
7. Talk about your dreams
Chances are, you’ve both grown and changed since you first got together. “Sit down and take turns telling each other your goals and dreams. When you’re listening to your partner, avoid dismissing, ridiculing or deeming their goals unrealistic. Listen with an open mind and with curiousity,” says Dr. Regev. You never know where it can take you.
8. Do something special for him
Cook his favourite meal. Buy his favourite wine while picking up the groceries. Let him sleep in while you deal with the kids Saturday morning. Little gestures count for a lot when it comes to relationship happiness.
Chances are he’ll reciprocate. If he’s a bit slow on the uptake, feel free to gently remind him you’d love to benefit from little gestures of love, too, such as a foot rub or waking up to coffee. (Just be sure to avoid speaking in a grudging, “tit for tat kind of way,” says Dr. Regev.)
9. Text your love
“Expressing love on a regular basis has been shown to be one of the most important building blocks of romantic relationships,” says Dr. Regev. So text some sweet nothings, pack a mash note into his briefcase, or dial him at work just to say “I love you.”
10. Touch it up
Touch brings humans closer. “So if you’re only touching during sex, you’re both missing out on one of the greatest ingredients in a loving relationship,” says Dr. Regev.
Hugs, kisses, handholding, cuddling, arm-rubbing and back-patting are all G-rated forms of loving affection. Whether you want to move things in an R-rated direction is up to you – but it’s important to make physical affection part of your daily life.
Courtesy of canadianliving.com
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Straight men prefer heavier women to thinner females and find feet erotic, according to a surprising survey of online searches. Scientists have finally got a grip on our deepest sexual desires, by looking at what people type into Google.They have examined one billion online sex-related searches from around the world to find out what users click on when no one else is looking.
The findings have been published in a book called A Billion Wicked Thoughts, co-authored by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, the Daily Mail reports.The pair hope it will prove there is no such thing as sexual deviance as almost nothing is seen as out of bounds.
The survey is so vast it is viewed by many experts as the most complete analysis of human sexual desires. Among the findings are the fact straight men prefer heavier women to thinner ones and find feet erotic.
They also enjoy a wide variety of erotic images, including bizarrely both elderly women and transsexuals. Meanwhile straight women enjoy reading about and watching romances between two men, but only when the focus is on emotion and not sex.
Surprisingly, search engine results from Dogpile, which provided the search data from Google, Yahoo! and Bing, said almost 80 percent of internet searches were made up of 20 interests, ranging from youth, to cheerleaders.
Ogas said: “Sex therapists haven’t known which interests are common and which are rare,’ ‘We probably now know more than ever before.”
The top 10 sex-related searches are youth (13.5 percent); gay (4.7 percent); MILFs (4.3 percent); breasts (4 percent); cheating wives (3.4 percent); vaginas (2.8 percent), penises (2.4 percent), (blocked out in the book); butts (0.9 percent) and cheerleaders (0.1 percent).
Experts think because porn is so readily available on the internet it may be helping human desire evolve as billions of men and women log-on more and more.
Prior to the internet boom, there were less than 90 porn magazines but now an estimated 2.5 million porn sites have been blocked.
With dailymail.co.uk input
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Unbelievable as it may sound, not all young men want more sex.According to a survey on Australian men, 12 per cent between the ages of 16 and 24 said they wanted less sex – the highest proportion of any age group.
“Although it’s a minority, it’s still interesting that it’s more of them (than any other age group), which is not that sort of myth, boys not getting enough sex and dying to get it,” Dr Juliet Richters, Associate Professor in Sexual Health, University of New South Wales, told Reuters.
Dr Richters and a team of researchers from around Australia surveyed some 4,300 heterosexual men and 4,400 women between the ages of 16 and 64. She said another survey five years ago showed similar results.
Only 31 per cent of men in that age group said they wanted more sex, the lowest of any other age group as well.
“It may well be that they are being overwhelmed by girls of much the same age who are madly in love and very keen,” she said. “It also takes men of that age about a year or longer to commit to a relationship.”
More predictably, the survey found that 57 per cent of men between 35 and 44 wanted more sex compared with only 28 per cent of women, while 14 per cent of women said they wanted less.
Half of men aged 55 to 64 wanted more sex, while only 27 per cent of women in the same age group felt the same.
With Agencies input Image: dailychilli.com
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If you’re not a morning person, your early routine probably involves dragging yourself, crumpled and weary from the bed and stumbling towards the kettle – but according to research, having sex in the morning could really set you up for the day.It may not be high on your list of priorities, but a little morning love-making not only boosts your mood but also strengthens your immune system, reducing your risk of catching a cold or flu and naturally improving hair, skin and nails.
And researchers say those who start the day with an impromptu sex session are healthier and happier than those who begin with tea and toast.
Dr Debby Herbenick, US research scientist and sex advice columnist, told the Daily Mail: “Having sex in the morning releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, which makes couples feel loving and bonded all day long.
“It makes you stronger and more beautiful too: Morning sex can strengthen the immune system for the day by enhancing your levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection.
“And it releases chemicals that boost levels of oestrogen, which improves the tone and texture of your skin and hair.”
There’s no need to worry about whether he’ll be up for it either – according to 28 Days author Gabrielle Lichterman, first thing is when he’s at his peak.
“While he sleeps, the testosterone he’ll use for the upcoming day accumulates. From the time he wakes up, he has a three-hour window when he’s brimming with peak levels.”
So the next time he wakes up with morning glory, why not indulge in some early morning passion – even if you’re mood doesn’t improve, your hair and skin will benefit.
Via: lemondrop.co.uk Image: Louisa Stokes/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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