The number of mental patients having extra marital affairs is increasing significantly in the country, experts say.
The experts at National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) say extra marital affairs have a bad impact on the families and the society.
Prof Golam Rabbani, director of the NIMH, told The Daily Star that “Such relations always create problems in families and hamper mental development of children.”
The major change in family and social life, contempt for social and religious norms, non-dependency and extreme self-reliance between couples, lack of sharing of family matters, and hidden mental disorder are among other causes of extra marital affairs, the director added.
He also said that though such occurrences are not prominent in society generally, the institute frequently gets such cases. In fact, the situation is very serious, but since only conscious couples are seeking professional help from psychiatrists, the real magnitude of the phenomenon remains unknown.
Meanwhile, poor and illiterate people go to religious clerics and quacks or try to find other ways of solving these problems, said Prof Rabbani, also the president of Bangladesh Association of Child and Adolescent Mental Health.
He strongly believes that man or woman who gets involved in an extra marital affair forgets that it might cause devastation in the future of her/his family members. The children are usually the worst affected. They feel insecure in staying with such parents, but hardly find any alternate asylum.
“On an average, 80 mentally disturbed people visit the hospital a day. About 40 percent of them become mentally disordered due the such extra marital relationships. Some are tormented by spousal infidelity, others are bothered by their fiancé’s interest in other girls or boys,” said Dr Zillur Kamal, associate professor of the institute.
The hospital is equipped to handle both adults and children. The institute-cum-hospital has 62 physiatrists, including professors and other medical officers. Counselling is also available for patients.
“Two of my patients divorced their partners’ last week for extra marital affairs. This is common situation in the country, which should be solved by creating awareness to make people sympathetic, respectful and affectionate,” said Professor of Psychiatry Jhunu Shamsunnahar of Bangabandhu Sheikh Mujib Medical University.
“In less serious cases, the patients are mostly handled by giving counselling to improve their confidence and self-reliance. We suggest counselling because it really helps get relief from frustrating situations,” added the professor.
“In serious cases, the patients are also provided with medication for relaxation of the condition,” she said.
Sonali Das (not her real name) came to the outdoor department of NIMH, saying that she was feeling insecure and helpless as her husband was involved with a girl and so, she wanted to consult a psychiatrist.
She said, “When my husband goes to office or any other work, I feel so insecure and feel that he wont come back just as he threatened to do when I asked him about the involvement.”
“I can not bear the pain. I feel cheated, humiliated and deprived. Society and family are not helping me. Every body says that I have failed to keep my husband attracted to me. Sometimes they even say that I should tolerate it,” said Sonali, who got married 17 years ago and has three children.
Explaining a patients’ condition at the NIMH, Prof Golam Rabbani said that the 29-year-old man from Jhenidah, is now under treatment as he had tried to commit suicide after finding out about his wife’s illicit affair with one of his friends.
He also pointed out relevant recent incidents that received media attention, like the case of Rita’s suicide with her two kids and other cases of parents being suspected of killing their children for extra marital affairs. “All these incidents indicate the vulnerable social situation which gets created from such illicit relations,” said the mental health expert.
“Considering that family is one critically important institution, the couples should work with commitment and trust. Every person should be committed towards their partners and other family members,” said Mehtab Khanam, professor of psychology at the University of Dhaka.
