Tamanna Khan (not her real name), 36, a working woman, had an affair from her college days with Nazrul Islam, 43, who works in a private firm. She married him even
before finishing her studies, without her parents’ consent.
Later, overcoming different kinds of family quarrels, they finally led a happy life with two kids, Shimul, 7, and Koyel, 3. But their happiness was short-lived; one night Tamanna came to know that her husband was having an extramarital relationship with one of his colleagues.
That night, at midnight, Tamanna heard her husband talking over phone with someone, which raised doubts in her mind. The next morning, at the breakfast table, when she asked him about the person with whom he was talking the previous night, he rudely answered it was one of his acquaintances.
Her husband’s attitude disconcerted her, so she secretly started to obtain information about him. From one of her husband’s colleagues, she came to know that her husband had very recently engaged in a secret affair with a woman named Shinjini (not her real name), who was also working in the
same office.
Tamanna secretly met Shinjini and requested her not to destroy her conjugal bliss, but things took a turn for the worse after that. Nazrul Islam came to know about the visit to Shinjini as his lover informed him, and he beat up Tamanna mercilessly.
Tamanna continued to stay with her husband for the sake of their kids, but things became completely impossible when one night her husband came home and spent the night along with his lover.
That was quiet disgraceful for Tamanna, who felt insulted. So the next day, without saying anything, she left the home in which she had stayed for 10 years, with bag and
baggage.
This is not an isolated incident; the same story is being repeated almost every day throughout the country.
According to research conducted by Nari Nirjatan Protirodh Cell (Women’s Repression Prevention Cell) under the women and children’s affairs ministry, and data compiled by the directorate of women’s affairs, from March 1995 to March 2013 in the six divisions of the country, the total number of divorce applications was 1,730. Of these applications, 1,371 were in Dhaka division, 137 in Chittagong, 101 in Barisal, 72 in Khulna, 48 in Sylhet and 1 in Rajshahi.
However, data of areas under the Dhaka City Corporation (DCC) shows a different picture — every year the number of divorces (dissolution of marriages) is rising significantly.
According to DCC zone no. 4, from November 2009 to December 2010, 371 divorce cases were filed, of which 110 were filed by husbands and 261 by wives in zone no. 2 of DCC.
In the same zone, from January 2012 to December, the number of divorce cases was 172, of which 59 were filed by men and the rest 113 by women. In the current year, from January to May, a total of 135 divorce cases was filed, of which 30 were filed by men and 105 by women.
But DCC zone no. 1 shows a different picture. From January 2012 to December 2012, a total of 16,453 divorce cases was filed. Of these, 11,203 were filed by women and the rest 4,759 were filed by men.
Muhammad Reazul Hossain, administrative officer of DCC zone no. 4, when asked about the reason for the increasing number of divorces, said he felt that the main reason was satellite television. “Most of the themes and the storylines are centred on extramarital affairs of each of the characters with her brother-in-law, or husband’s friend, or elder sister’s husband. By watching such television serials and films, the ethics and moral values of people have deteriorated. That has influenced them to break up with their spouses,” he added.
Sociologists and psychologists also expressed concern over the rising divorce rate.
Professor Moriruzzaman of the sociology department of Dhaka University said it was also found from newspaper reports that administrative officials of DCC’s 10 zonal offices said 80 per cent of the petitions recorded in marriage registrars’ offices (Kazi Offices) and the courts in the city have been filed by women alleging extramarital affairs on the part of their husbands, torture, and intolerable behaviour.
Abu Naser Kochi, administrative officer of zone no. 1, said the trend of women seeking divorces is definitely increasing day by day. According to him, people’s demands are rising, which are resulting in conflicts between husbands and wives. He added that the number of extramarital affairs was increasing and both men and women were filing divorce cases on similar grounds.
Bangladesh Mahila Parishad president Advocate Elina Khan said the divorce rate is increasing as a result of violence against women. She added, “Women are now educated and self-reliant. They are aware of their rights. If they find anything is wrong, such as an extramarital relationship, they immediately seek relief. This is true even for trivial matters.”
Kazi Iqbal Hossain, general secretary of the Bangladesh Muslim Legal Registered, pointed out that it was the women, more than the men, who are filing divorce notices. He attributed this mainly to torture by their husbands. He also added that a remarkable number of divorce notices has been put up as a result of the extramarital relationships in which both husbands and wives have engaged.
Dr Mehtub Khanam of the psychology department of Dhaka University said women are much more educated than before and are aware of their rights, so they do not tolerate anything which can affect their self-respect and dignity.
-With The Independent input
